Milk and Comfort
by AndreaAtlyss
Summary: Shelagh is learning that there are many ways to soothe and love her daughter. An over tired stressed and scared, this mother just wants to make her baby feel better and feel safe.
1. Chapter 1 - Little Things

**A/N: Okay guys! I hope you like this! I had a Tumblr request for something like this so I thought that I could write it up for you! Hope you Enjoy and if you have more prompts on things you want to read or if you want a continuation of stories for this story (more chapters) let me know! You can always message me or inbox me on my Tumblr account! AndreaAtlyss**

 **Thanks, y'all Love you** **guys!**

 **Also side note, in this story Angela is a bit younger than in the actual series!**

She didn't really think about it till Matty was born, to her feeding a child was just feeding a child. It wasn't until Matty came that she noticed how jealous Angela looked when she would feed him. She would see her pout, but Angela wouldn't ever tell her why. Being the strong willed almost two-year-old that she was, she could be just like her stubborn father when using her words.

***Flashback***

"Patrick, I need to feed Angela her bedtime bottle." Patrick kissed his tired wife and rose from the bed that Shelagh had just crawled into to get the baby for her. Angela was only 6 months old at the time when it first happened, but to Shelagh, it wasn't a bother.

"Here you are my wee girl." Shelagh fed her daughter the last of her bottle as her eyes drifted shut and she continued to drink the pale liquid. Shelagh had found out early that Angela liked to cuddle against warm skin. Whether that be her father's chest or her mother's skin was what soothed her. She would squirm at the feel of fabric against her face or neck and would cry until it was gone. So there sat Shelagh with a baby in her arms cuddled against her bare chest falling asleep where she had unbuttoned her shirt. Shelagh's eyes had drifted shut just as the last of Angela's bottle emptied into her small mouth. She wiggled her head and the bottle fell out of her mouth. In her search for the milk again, instead of the rubber she latched onto Shelagh and suckled gently.

"Oh!" Shelagh's eyes flew open and she looked down at her daughter who was almost sleeping now.

"Patrick, wake up!" Shelagh nudged her husband in hopes not to disturb the baby in the process.

"What is it darling-Oh." Patrick rubbed his eyes and took in the sight of him.

"How? Shelagh, don't be so shocked. It's okay to be curious." Patrick rubbed his wife's arm gently.

"Patrick, I dozed off! She did this on her own. I must say, it's a rather strange feeling." Shelagh stroked her sleeping daughter's cheek as she comfort nursed.

"Patrick! She went right to sleep!" Shelagh realized she didn't have to rock her daughter for a half hour after her bottle like she usually did every night to get her to sleep.

"Well then, looks like you had many firsts tonight my love." Shelagh let the baby nurse on her for a few more minutes before putting her daughter in her cot at the end of their bed.

***Time skip forward***

Shelagh had gotten used to Angela nursing for comfort on her, a few months after the initial incident Angela had gotten colic. _Nothing_ would soothe her, she was merely inconsolable. Shelagh looked at her husband with tears in her eyes. She was tired and Angela just kept screaming, the poor thing felt as bad as her mummy. Patrick guided her to the settee and merely unbuttoned her shirt for her. She put her crying daughter up to her chest and immediately Angela quited to the occasional hiccup.

"My love, I know to some it might be strange because she's adopted and you have no milk, but to me and anyone else, we know. you are just another mother, loving her child." Patrick kissed his wife and heard a faint knock on the door. He stood and went to open the door through the hall.

Shelagh went to make herself decent, but couldn't make herself. She could hear it was one of the nuns and took a deep breath and relaxed. Letting herself get comfy and stretching out her legs as she let her daughter lay across her. Her breathing steady and heart rate calmed at the feeling of her mother.

The moment she walked in the room Shelagh relaxed fully. It was Sister Julienne. She knew she could trust her and that she would understand completely.

"Oh my dear girl, look at you." Sister Julienne reached over and ran her thumb across the blueish purple lines under Shelagh's eyes.

"I haven't really slept, Sister." She admitted, knowing there was never a judgment from her mother figure.

"Looks like you found a way to console her." Shelagh looked down with adoration at her daughter, sleeping now with the occasional suckle for comfort, letting her know mummy was still there.

"Oh Sister, I have no milk and yet she still wants me. Is this okay? Is it inappropriate?" Sister Julienne could see the fear of judgment in eyes.

"Oh, my dear girl." She moved and set herself be Shelagh's legs and laid a hand on her thigh.

"No, I think this is a bond only a mother and her child can have. It isn't the milk that makes it special, it's the ability to soothe her and let her know she's safe and loved."

Sister Julienne grabbed Shelagh's outstretched hand and with the other wiped away the tear that escaped her daughter's eye. Even when she was her Sister in Christ she had a bond that was different with Shelagh. And now that she is no longer in the order, she can fully embrace that mother-daughter bond. Shelagh was so thankful for the bond that she had with her Mother in Christ. Losing her own mother at such a young age made her long for that relationship more than anything else.

***Time Skip to Present Day***

Shelagh was now puttering away in the kitchen, Angela in tow everywhere she went following her mummy and patting mummy's tummy every now and then. Shelagh was now eight months pregnant and Angela was fevering and sick but refused to lay down.

"Mumma up" Angela whined and reached her little hands up hoping for Shelagh to pick her up.

"Oh, alright wee one. Come on then. But please be gentle of mummy's tummy." Angela nodded and rested her head on Shelagh's shoulder.

"Mumma"

"I know baby I know, how about we go rest a bit and cuddle?" the now almost two-year-old nodded gratefully and snuggled into Shelagh's chest as she rocked them in the rocking chair. Angela looked up and started playing with the buttons of Shelagh's shirt as she sucked on her thumb.

"You want to lay on mama's chest?" Angela nodded, slowly and let Shelagh unbutton her blouse so she could lay skin to skin. Angela relaxed into her chest and let her eyes close softly. After a moment she laid down in her mother's arms and pulled at Shelagh's brassiere.

"Wee one, you haven't wanted mumma in a long time. Would that make you feel better?" She watched as the two-year old nodded and snuggled in closer. Shelagh slipped her bra down and Angela immediately latched on, but instantly backed up with wide eyes.

"Mumma drink?" Shelagh was confused for a second when she realized that her milk must have started to come in a bit early.

"It's okay wee one. Mama has to make milk for baby brother or sister." Shelagh patted her tummy and Angela copied her and kissed her belly. She laid back down and looked up at her Mummy.

"Milk?" She asked curiously.

"Yes honey, Mummy makes milk for the baby so he or she isn't hungry and can grow big and strong like you!" Shelagh ticked her daughter's chin and went to fix her shirt thinking her daughter was no longer interested in nursing.

"Mumma no." Angela pushed her hand away from her shirt and latched on again. She sucked lightly and a smile appeared on her face as her eyes faded shut. Just as she fell asleep Patrick walked in the door. He saw his two girls rocking with their backs facing him and walked over to greet them.

"My my, what do we have here. I thought she weaned off." Patrick kissed his wife's forehead and sat down on the settee next to her chair.

"She did, but she's sick and has a fever. She just wanted to be held on my bare chest like she likes and decided she wanted to nurse. Turns out I have a wee bit of milk, she rather liked that whole package." Shelagh chuckled lightly with Patrick soon following suit.

"Well, I'm rather glad you were able to make her feel better that Dr. Dad couldn't my love.


	2. Chapter 2 - Sweet Moments

"Shelagh?... Shelagh?" Patrick walked into the house and yelled out to her.

"Shhh! She just fell asleep Patrick." Shelagh was holding her daughter, hoping that she would sleep for a while longer. Angela only had been sick for three days now, Shelagh loved her work, but being pregnant and having a small child sick only made her days longer than bearable. Patrick took in the sight of his wife and daughter, under eyes purple and worn, and red flushed cheeks. He noticed Angela was just small enough to curl up on Shelagh's chest and bump and get away with it and to be honest he loved it.

"I'm sorry dear, how is she?"' Well she won't drink from her sippy and she pushes away food, but she actually nursed for a while and kept it down, so I think maybe better." Shelagh sighed and moved a little bit trying to get more comfortable. Patrick smiled and walked out of the room for a moment. She heard him on the phone but was too exhausted to register the words. Ten minutes later a soft knock was heard at the door. Shelagh moved a bit, but her eyes were too heavy to care. Without registering another presence in the room, Shelagh felt a hand laid on her own.

"My dear, let me have her and you go rest." Sister Julienne took her hand for a moment.

"Oh, I can't ask that of you! Timothy will be home in only a half hour and-"

"Shh, my love you have always been ever so stubborn. Why don't we go upstairs, I'll have a look at both babies and then I will handle the rest. You though need to sleep, Patrick said you have been up all night." Sister Julienne cut her daughter off, not even letting her play this game with her.

"Oh, but!-" Shelagh had tried and failed miserably to justify that she was fine. But even she could feel the tired in her bones.

"No, buts. Come on you." By now Patrick had mouthed a _Thank you_ to her and had left again for his after lunch rounds.

Sister Julienne laid Angela down in her cot in her room and met Shelagh in her own room. She was pleased to find that Shelagh put on a cool nightdress and was laying in her bed.  
"You know the drill" Sister Julienne smiled lightly at Shelagh and took out her Pinard. She palpated her abdomen and took a quick listen.

"Picture perfect if I say so myself." She smiled and walked out of the room. By dinner, Patrick had gotten called out and Timothy was at friends for the night. Patrick offered to find someone to watch Angela, but she insisted that she stayed. Shelagh woke with a horrible fright and let a blood-curdling scream loose. Thrashing the covers off of herself and ending up kneeling on the floor Panicking. She screamed again into the dark and started sobbing, still half asleep and not aware.

"My Baby!" She yelled again. This time though Sister Julienne came running into the room.

"Oh, my dear! You're okay. Shh, you're safe." Shelagh pulled away though to look at her.

"No! No! They took my baby!"

"Shelagh my love, no one took your baby. Look" Sister Julienne grabbed one of her hands and placed it on her bump. Shelagh felt the small movements under her hand and relaxed completely, letting her tears overflow. Sister Julienne helped her back up onto the bed and pulled up her covers.

"Shh, it was only a nightmare my lovely. Everyone is here is safe, you're okay." She held her tight in her arms as she cried. She knew all this was because of the exhaustion. For the first time, she felt like it was okay to allow herself to be Shelagh's mother, not just her friend. She always had such a close bond with Shelagh, from the start their relationship was different.

"Mum, please don't leave." Shelagh snuggled closer into her arms, feeling as though she would break apart without her holding her together.

"I'm here, I promise my lovely." After Patrick came home, finding Angela asleep and Shelagh asleep again with Sister Julienne sitting next to her, she bid him goodnight and told him she would return tomorrow morning.

The familiar knock on the door and Sister Julienne walked in seeing Shelagh sitting in the living room with Angela.

"She seems to feel a little better but refused breakfast so I offered to her. Seems like my milk is in plenty stock nowadays I have to say though I feel for my mothers now, the weight alone is rough to deal with, not to mention the chapped nipples and leaking all the time!" Sister Julienne laughed softly and smiled at her.

"Well, that does all come with it! Speaking of, though, I brought you some cream and some nursing pads from Nonnatus."

"I swear you read my mind! I woke up this morning and thought I was going to burst, they felt so full mum." Shelagh just rambled on and let the familiar name she uses in her head slip out. She looked up at Sister Julienne as though she was about to be reprimanded.

"Well, at least you get the full package this time." Sister Julienne just smiled at her and got up to go make some tea for them, but before she left the room she dropped a kiss to Shelagh's forehead, letting her know she liked the name, and that it was okay. Shelagh Smiled down at her daughter, taking in a deep breath. After a few minutes, Sister Julienne was back with two cups of hot tea, well sugared and with a dash of milk.

"You know, I have to say I do love the snuggles with her and the bond we share. I know she's over a year now mum, but to be honest with you. I think it makes her feel safe too. She likes the milk, and she really only tandem feeds when she wants too. Actually, our neighbor has been struggling with her youngest to make enough. So what Angela doesn't want I've been expressing for her… She can wean him down in a few months and be fine, but at least I'm not wasting my milk." Shelagh stroked her daughter's face lightly as she suckled gratefully.

"Oh love, I think that's wonderful of you! I'm sure she appreciates the help. Looks like Angela is gaining some weight, she is such a petite little thing, a few cute rolls on her couldn't hurt." Sister Julienne gladly accepted Angela into her arms when she was done feeding. Shelagh sat and buttoned up her blouse while she watched Sister Julienne snuggle Angela.

"I think we're going to be okay."

"What do you mean my lovely?" Sister Julienne looked up at her intrigued

"I mean that I was terrified that having Angela and a new baby would mean Timothy felt left out and that I'd be so railroad shattered that I couldn't take care of them. But that was silly. I have all the help I could ever need, right here with my family." Sister Julienne smiled and whispered an _I love you_ to her and held in the tear that was threatening to escape.

 **A/N: So I made Angela a little younger than she is so that the story would work! Sorry for the confusion my loves!**


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